Following is the story of the only gunbattle in which I have been involved:
Autumn 1985. A small state college on Maryland's eastern shore.
My sociology professor, a sheriff's reserve officer, asks for volunteers for a police training exercise. The SWAT teams from a number of different departments are putting together a mock hostage scenario and need volunteers to play the hostages as well as the bank robbers/hostage takers. Well, this sounds pretty good to me, so I'm in, along with 11 of my fellow students.
The following weekend, we are taken to an abandoned farmhouse in a thickly forested area. In addition to the main house there are several outbuildings and a dry swimming pool. We gather in front of the farmhouse for our instructions.
The setup is this: We have robbed a bank and taken four people hostage. We have fled to this farmhouse in an attempt to elude capture. Our group is split into bad guys and hostages. I consider myself lucky to be designated a bad guy since the next thing they tell us is that we are going to be using real .38 revolvers and 12 gauge shotguns. I get a shotgun and am very pleased. They show us how the things work and we each get two practice shots. (Which is handy since I'd never touched a gun before). Of course, the guns are loaded with blanks but it's still pretty damn cool. So we take our practice shots and scout out the house and outbuildings. Now we're ready.
There are 8 bad guys and 4 hostages. At the start of the exercise there are to be 4 bad guys and 4 hostages in the main house. The other four bad guys are supposed to start in the outbuildings or the pool area. Once we start we may move freely. (Keeping in mind that there are SWAT sharpshooters involved). There are also 10 "referees" whose instructions are to be followed by all parties. The refs are clearly marked by reflective orange vests and the hostages by large H's made of reflective tape on their shirts. The object for the cops is to rescue the hostages as quickly as possible without getting any of them killed.
The bad guys decide that the best tactic is to have everyone come into the main house, figuring that there's (relative) safety in numbers. So we take our positions and await the whistle which will start the exercise. I am in the pool area and I see that there is a small bath house nearby. It's a cinderblock construct about 10' by 12'. There's a toilet and a shower stall and two small windows set high on the wall. The water is off. I know that the water is off because I went in to check. Bad move. The door swings shut once I let it go and the it turns out the doorknob is missing from the inside. Just as I am realizing what has just happened the whistle blows.
The plan is for the bad guys outside the house to run immediately inside. We hoped the cops would not be set up quickly enough to pick us off in the open. Except I'm trapped in the crapper. Quickly assessing the situation I come to one inescapable conclusion: I'm screwed. I figure my only option is to sit tight and hope that the cops don't notice that I'm still outside the house. This hope was soon dashed, however, when my accomplices in the house start calling out for me to come in. OK, so now the cops know I'm out here but at least they still don't know where. I don't answer the calls and they soon stop. And the waiting began.
Unknown to us the cops are having a horrible time coordinating their assault. Several groups have gotten lost in the woods. And some of the communication equipment malfunctioning. This drill is supposed to go for about 3 hours. It took them that long just to get into position. All this time I am sitting in the pool house, trying to be very quiet and listening for any movement in the surrounding woods. (It's not as entertaining as it sounds). After a very long and uncomfortable time I finally hear some movement amongst the nearby trees. Suddenly I hear someone running toward the back and hear a thud and muffle grunt as a cop flattens himself against the wall. I hold my shotgun tighter, ready to go down fighting. I hear the cop whistle and two more rush up to join him. I can hear them as they slide around the corner to the side of the pool house. They pause. They whisper but I can't make it out. Then I see a hand silhouetted in the window, checking to see if there's glass or a screen. There is neither and I consider blowing the cop's hand off with the shotgun. I don't do it though because the range is too close. Even though they are blanks it could still do some damage at that range. Also it has occurred to me that I am in a small enclosed space. Since I hate bleeding from the ears I decide that if I do have a chance to shoot my way out of here I'm just gonna scream "Bang, Bang", and hope for the best.
As it turned out I never fired a shot. The cops continued on to the main house without even trying the door. They had been ordered to storm the house. See, the cops had only been authorized for 4 hours of OT and they had used up so much time deploying all they could do was rush the house and hope for the best. So they rushed the house and killed all the hostage takers. They also killed all the hostages. They even killed all the referees, who were very angry about getting shot at when they were clearly wearing the bright orange vests. Yes, the cops killed everybody.
Except me. I was still in the can. Eventually someone remembered that I was out there somewhere and started poking around. They thought it was pretty damned funny when they found me and I had to agree. It was pretty funny, but I was alive and they were dead. So the way I figure it, I won.
